I created this as a part of my blackbelt qualification in 2016 to answer the question “Why do I deserve a blackbelt”. I read it at times when I’m down because it reminds me that I can accomplish anything I truly commit to doing.
There are times when I think that I don’t deserve to be a black belt. When sparring, I’m often too slow in my movements leaving me to use hand-checks and single kicks when slides and combinations are in order. My “two-inch” vertical leap makes my jumping kicks less than impressive. I’m not as flexible as I one was, so I can’t kick as high as I should. That gives taller opponents “cause for pause” since I tend to miss the chest guard on the low side. And I don’t have the endurance I used to, so I’m huffing and puffing when my younger classmates still have energy for miles.
But I’m a bit of an oddity as a martial arts student. I’ll be 62 on October 24th and, incredibly, eligible for Social Security at that time. I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 38 years. I have five children, three biological and two adopted. Ironically, my biological children are most likely of the same generation as the parents of my classmates. I also have six grandchildren ranging in age from 0 to 13 years of age. I have been working since I was eighteen, been all over the world, and now own my own small business and have a pension waiting for me when I decide it’s time.
I know that black belts are rare at any age. Research says three percent of the population is interested in martial arts and of that portion, only three percent become first Dan black belt. That means that one in every thousand people you meet may have earned a black belt. It’s unclear how many earn their first Dan in their 60’s, but I’m guessing it’s rarer still.
I watched taekwondo from the sidelines for many years as my two youngest became black belts in their own right. Nearly three years ago, I said to myself “I think I can do this too.” I thought I went into it with eyes open since I saw what it took to make it from start to finish. But my concept and the reality has been a bit different.
According to the UK NHS, taekwondo is far safer than running, bicycling, and swimming. In fact, it’s tied with tennis and badminton as far as the likelihood of getting hurt. I’m not sure what population they were using to create this study, but us old folks must be outliers. Since I began my taekwondo journey, I’ve suffered a broken finger, various strains and sprains, countless bruises and cuts, and quite literally minor aches and pains every day since my training began. I guess I should stay away from more dangerous sports like running and swimming. Who knows what could happen?
Besides my health and insurance co-pay, I’ve made other investments as well. I have been present for class in the dojang on 500 different days. I’ve spent enough money on my training that I could have paid for nice a trip to Europe or three years-worth of gas for my car. And I have expended 700,000 calories worth of effort on my quest. But it has been worth it. The friendship, experience, and learning has been incredible. I committed to this nearly three years ago and not once have I considered giving up.
My essay outline asks me to explain what I have learned on my journey to becoming a black belt. I’d have to say my knowledge falls into three general categories that I outline below.
The first category is in the technical skills of taekwondo. I’ve gained knowledge in the various forms, kicking, blocking, breaking, striking, and sparring skills shared with me by teachers and classmates along the journey. My skills are not perfect, but perhaps good enough to take the next step. I know they’re not committed to memory as well as they should be. And I’m just beginning to learn the “why” in addition to the “what” of taekwondo skills. Why’s like:
- Why blocks extend past center mass
- Why foot position is important
- Why balance and posture are important
- Why distance and stance are important
- Why relaxation and focus are key
So, while this black belt step of the journey seems like a destination, I know it is only a waystation along the road to deeper knowledge and skills.
Second, I’ve begun to learn other aspects of taekwondo as well. I have learned that taekwondo combines mind and body; sometimes requires mind over body, but never body alone. You can’t take a mental vacation in taekwondo and that is different than many other sports.
I have also learned that taekwondo is a relentless pursuit of perfection. Bruce Lee once said “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” I have not practiced nearly enough to call anything I do a habit let alone perfection. Although I want to say I have accomplished something I know that, to paraphrase Walt Whitman, “I have miles to go before I rest.”
Finally, I have learned a bit more of myself. I learned I can meet a significant life goal if I focus on it. I can power though the pain or any other adversity when I need to. I don’t have to let things like my age or station in life get in the way. I can have fun learning and teaching what I have learned to others. And I can tie a belt.
So, what’s next for me? Folks do continue their taekwondo training well into their seventies. I can too. I have a lot of things to perfect and I look forward to practicing everything I have learned at least 10,000 times (look out Bruce). I know there is much more to learn and I want to continue the journey.
I may have to have my knee looked at, and that may require that I take a short break from taekwondo. But fear not, I have many things on my bucket list that I can do while I heal. Things like painting (art not houses), trips to exotic places, meeting interesting people, and pursuing meaningful projects.
The first question to be answered in the black belt essay was “Why do I think I deserve to be a black belt?” I can in all truth tell you that the question is not for me to answer. I will, to the best of my abilities, show others what I have learned. They will judge whether I deserve a black belt. Regardless of the outcome, I know the experience has changed me forever.
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